I started meditating some months ago because I wanted to change my mind. I want to change my fear based, paranoid, waiting for the hammer to fall, existence, into something else, a life that is not dominated by a mind full of junk. Yesterday I realised something important, I live in fear of the present,Continue reading “The problem of living in the present”
Tag Archives: depression
Meditation and the game in my head – from a letter to my brother
I’ve noticed this game in my head when I meditate. If a thought intrudes and I get disturbed by it, I am drawn into further thought, even if that’s the very thing I am ‘trying’ to avoid. The harder I try, or the harder I resist, the more I am captured by the thought process.Continue reading “Meditation and the game in my head – from a letter to my brother”
What on Earth…?
I came here to live, not merely exist, for if I only exist, I shall spend my days yearning to live, nor will I ever stop until I am no more. The politics of life on Earth scorns me, but I am more than that, always. How do I know this? I have lived withContinue reading “What on Earth…?”
Emergence
Our minds are an internal playground where we make stuff up. Nothing in there has any basis in objective reality, it is entirely a subjective space. Our minds do exist in an objective reality, our brain, which can be removed and examined, but what we’ll never find is a single thought of the millions, evenContinue reading “Emergence”
You cannot earn or make yourself worthy of love
In July 2020, as a few of you will know, I briefly died and on returning to this dear but beleaguered and much abused planet, I discovered that the severe depression which had been my ‘companion’ for the vast majority of my life had healed. I could ‘see’ where it had been, but all thatContinue reading “You cannot earn or make yourself worthy of love”
Washing the brain washing
It’s a long and drawn out process… I was born not knowing that the universe had given me the free gift of life, my parents hadn’t realised this either, or, if they had, they never thought to mention it to me. Nor did I, or they, realise that we are born onto this abundant Earth,Continue reading “Washing the brain washing”
What on Earth…
Shifting out of my body as I died in July 2020 and dispassionately observing the process and then coming back was a game changer. Nothing in my life can ever be the same again, not least in discovering that the depression I had lived with all my life has gone, healed over like an oldContinue reading “What on Earth…”
The darkest hour is just before dawn
The period of time since July last year and my near death experience with an incredibly aggressive cancer, whilst it’s been physically and mentally demanding and really tough at times, has been a miraculous and astonishing experience that has blessed me and has had the most profoundly positive and energising effect on me and myContinue reading “The darkest hour is just before dawn”
How on Earth did my life become a spiritual journey?
The answer is incredibly simple, my life became a spiritual journey because suffering and cruelty drove me to question what life was about at a very young age. There were three significant factors which launched my journey, the first being poverty and witnessing the suffering, terror and daily struggles of my mother to raise us,Continue reading “How on Earth did my life become a spiritual journey?”
Life looks after itself
Having decided to take a month out from Chemotherapy to recover somewhat before embarking on the next round, it’s interesting to discover my body is throwing everything it has at recovery. All the effects of Chemotherapy, both physical and mental, have increased in what I can only describe as a mass cleansing of my systemContinue reading “Life looks after itself”
Conspiracy of Kindness 