Changing my mind – literally

As some of you will know, I have made a life changing choice and decided to change my mind. It’s not impossible but it is difficult and, because I am human, it requires a wee bit more than Control/Alt/Delete or changing a few apps, not least in how I perceive the world and how itContinue reading “Changing my mind – literally”

Quietly losing my mind

Whilst I point the finger at Chemotherapy for rendering me out of my mind for some time, that is not at all the same as the erosion and steady loss of cognitive ability that I am now experiencing, though it does have the same genesis. On my final interview with the doctor in charge ofContinue reading “Quietly losing my mind”

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more… Henry V – William Shakespeare.

I have just had a long, positive, conversation with my replacement Oncologist/Haematologist setting out my daily treatment from 28th December to 26 January. I began the conversation by saying that I have gone from a place of trust to wariness, suspicion and hostility. I also said I have to be able to trust the teamContinue reading “Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more… Henry V – William Shakespeare.”

Life looks after itself

Having decided to take a month out from Chemotherapy to recover somewhat before embarking on the next round, it’s interesting to discover my body is throwing everything it has at recovery. All the effects of Chemotherapy, both physical and mental, have increased in what I can only describe as a mass cleansing of my systemContinue reading “Life looks after itself”

Clinicians who deny that Chemotherapy affects the brain are dangerous fools

Undergoing Chemotherapy, I have experienced and expressed, both verbally and in writing, a loss of cognitive function in my brain and even stopped driving my car because I almost wrecked it due to cognitive impairment and a huge reduction in my ability to assess danger and risk and my ability to respond to it. ThisContinue reading “Clinicians who deny that Chemotherapy affects the brain are dangerous fools”

Some thoughts now I’ve returned from the dead

I’ve not written about what happened when I was admitted to hospital in July of this year (2020), of the experience of dying and being brought back to life. The month leading up to my admission was a month of extreme pain. My GP was not helpful, possibly because I was not communicating well, butContinue reading “Some thoughts now I’ve returned from the dead”

Cancer and the battle against patriarchal arrogance and injustice

Yesterday I had the most incredible meeting with the head of Oncology who categorically denied that Chemo-fog or Chemo-brain exists and that I was projecting my subconscious anxieties onto Chemotherapy. He further told me that he had chosen to withhold the information about further Chemotherapy because he felt I would back out of Chemotherapy completelyContinue reading “Cancer and the battle against patriarchal arrogance and injustice”

Living a bread free life courtesy of R-CHOP chemotherapy

There are no words to describe how shockingly bad bread tastes under the influence of R-CHOP chemotherapy, nor how much I have taken it for granted as a staple of life. It is also a shock to discover that it costs at least three times more to feed myself without bread. It is also anContinue reading “Living a bread free life courtesy of R-CHOP chemotherapy”

Ripped apart by isolation and loneliness

In one of those cruel ironies of life, everyone I can think of to contact is unavailable for various reasons. It’s a synchronicity of a shitty reverse order. I have never felt more isolated, alone and bereft of the company of others, with signs on every door warning me not to go out. I haveContinue reading “Ripped apart by isolation and loneliness”

What the Fog?

My old and dear friend Lesley has been digging around on our behalf and if you have a hankering to understand more about Chemo Fog or Chemobrain, there are many sites out there to help. This general site discusses – Cognitive Effects of Cancer Treatment: Chemobrain and how to Treat It. And – Chemo BrainContinue reading “What the Fog?”