The darkest hour is just before dawn

The period of time since July last year and my near death experience with an incredibly aggressive cancer, whilst it’s been physically and mentally demanding and really tough at times, has been a miraculous and astonishing experience that has blessed me and has had the most profoundly positive and energising effect on me and myContinue reading “The darkest hour is just before dawn”

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more… Henry V – William Shakespeare.

I have just had a long, positive, conversation with my replacement Oncologist/Haematologist setting out my daily treatment from 28th December to 26 January. I began the conversation by saying that I have gone from a place of trust to wariness, suspicion and hostility. I also said I have to be able to trust the teamContinue reading “Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more… Henry V – William Shakespeare.”

Life looks after itself

Having decided to take a month out from Chemotherapy to recover somewhat before embarking on the next round, it’s interesting to discover my body is throwing everything it has at recovery. All the effects of Chemotherapy, both physical and mental, have increased in what I can only describe as a mass cleansing of my systemContinue reading “Life looks after itself”

Cancer and the battle against patriarchal arrogance and injustice

Yesterday I had the most incredible meeting with the head of Oncology who categorically denied that Chemo-fog or Chemo-brain exists and that I was projecting my subconscious anxieties onto Chemotherapy. He further told me that he had chosen to withhold the information about further Chemotherapy because he felt I would back out of Chemotherapy completelyContinue reading “Cancer and the battle against patriarchal arrogance and injustice”

Life is a bloody miracle, but we really seem to struggle to get it

I feel like I’m on the other side of the Covid-19 debacle because the thing that’s keeping me alive is human contact. I have Chemo every three weeks, a nurse hooking me up to the deadly killer drugs that are designed to kill the cancer that decided to invade my body without so much asContinue reading “Life is a bloody miracle, but we really seem to struggle to get it”

Reality – which one?

What astounds me more and more is that no one knows what reality is and by that I mean a reality distinct from our individual selves and our individual personal view. This entire process of dealing with cancer has been an extraordinary experience, some of it not pleasant at all, but all of it astonishing.Continue reading “Reality – which one?”

Ripped apart by isolation and loneliness

In one of those cruel ironies of life, everyone I can think of to contact is unavailable for various reasons. It’s a synchronicity of a shitty reverse order. I have never felt more isolated, alone and bereft of the company of others, with signs on every door warning me not to go out. I haveContinue reading “Ripped apart by isolation and loneliness”

Change the world one life at a time…

Our problem is in thinking too big. That’s what they want us to do. That’s the problem, right there. That’s what stops us loving ourselves. Just like school. We become part of the labour force, with no discrete identity of our own. That is why the factory was such an abomination to me. Factories destroyContinue reading “Change the world one life at a time…”

A problem for every solution

That’s our world, the world of our betters and masters, bastard Boris and his sneering, contemptuous, band of thieves. In the lead up to my recent return from deaths door, I knew I was done with politics. The daily filthy reminders of robbery, contempt and murder by the criminals in power. They are just criminalsContinue reading “A problem for every solution”

Going and returning

The following requires a foreword because five days ago it would have been impossible to write. The words would have had no meaning, just a made up story without any life experience to lend it form or substance. If you’ve never smelled the roses, for god sake don’t write about it as if you have,Continue reading “Going and returning”