Enemy of the state

Since 2010 and the bankers global financial crash in 2008 I have grown ever more comfortable with being an enemy of the state. It might seem scary and a big deal, but it’s really inevitable, sensible and just in a world and a nation that puts profits before people and worse, sacrifices the lives ofContinue reading “Enemy of the state”

The inner monologue and why we don’t think we’re amazing when we are

If you are not aware of your inner monologue, it’s the voice that’s just said, “What’s he on about?” Let’s be clear about our inner monologue or voice, it’s a critic, it’s a carping, down driving, dismal damned critic, which has the (almost) sole purpose of making us feel bad. If there’s anyone out thereContinue reading “The inner monologue and why we don’t think we’re amazing when we are”

Changing your life to find life

Yesterday I posted on Facebook the following: ‘Without my local library I would not have changed my life in the way I did by accessing a book called ‘Holiday Jobs in Britain’. I would not have met my wife and my daughter would not have been born and I would not have become a canoeingContinue reading “Changing your life to find life”

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more… Henry V – William Shakespeare.

I have just had a long, positive, conversation with my replacement Oncologist/Haematologist setting out my daily treatment from 28th December to 26 January. I began the conversation by saying that I have gone from a place of trust to wariness, suspicion and hostility. I also said I have to be able to trust the teamContinue reading “Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more… Henry V – William Shakespeare.”

Happy Christmas all you makers and creators – This means you.

We, human kind, are very good at boxing things to the exclusion of others and thus are sectarian divisions and petty hatreds born. No matter who you are or where you are, life is about creating and making, call it art or call it a meal, call it unblocking a pipe or fixing a plug.Continue reading “Happy Christmas all you makers and creators – This means you.”

Life looks after itself

Having decided to take a month out from Chemotherapy to recover somewhat before embarking on the next round, it’s interesting to discover my body is throwing everything it has at recovery. All the effects of Chemotherapy, both physical and mental, have increased in what I can only describe as a mass cleansing of my systemContinue reading “Life looks after itself”

Clinicians who deny that Chemotherapy affects the brain are dangerous fools

Undergoing Chemotherapy, I have experienced and expressed, both verbally and in writing, a loss of cognitive function in my brain and even stopped driving my car because I almost wrecked it due to cognitive impairment and a huge reduction in my ability to assess danger and risk and my ability to respond to it. ThisContinue reading “Clinicians who deny that Chemotherapy affects the brain are dangerous fools”

Some thoughts now I’ve returned from the dead

I’ve not written about what happened when I was admitted to hospital in July of this year (2020), of the experience of dying and being brought back to life. The month leading up to my admission was a month of extreme pain. My GP was not helpful, possibly because I was not communicating well, butContinue reading “Some thoughts now I’ve returned from the dead”

Cancer and the battle against patriarchal arrogance and injustice

Yesterday I had the most incredible meeting with the head of Oncology who categorically denied that Chemo-fog or Chemo-brain exists and that I was projecting my subconscious anxieties onto Chemotherapy. He further told me that he had chosen to withhold the information about further Chemotherapy because he felt I would back out of Chemotherapy completelyContinue reading “Cancer and the battle against patriarchal arrogance and injustice”

Being creative and learning to live a creative fertile life

From as far back as I can remember, all I ever wanted to be was an artist, yet introduced as one a few years ago, someone challenged, with good old English disdain, “Who says you’re an artist?”, to which I responded, “I do.” And that’s the end of the conversation. But what does it meanContinue reading “Being creative and learning to live a creative fertile life”