The hideous world of reviews and why I won’t

Image: Tesco reminding me they want a free review from me.

Since when did it become our new civic duty to provide a product review for nearly every purchase we make? And while I’m on the subject I’d like a number of other crimes taken into consideration: Told off for not reading latest commercial email updates – Businesses closing my account because I’m not spending enough or often enough – Sending me reminders to remind me I’ve not done a review yet – Using my first name to pretend a non existent intimacy (Have you heard this, Keith?)- Tesco wanted me to donate 15 minutes of my time completing a survey, ‘to let us know how we are doing’.

Really – Reviews? This is my time they expect me to give up for free. They want me to tell them what a great commercial job they did selling me a thing and getting the fucking thing delivered in one piece, which in most cases is what happens. If it doesn’t happen, that’s when they’ll hear from me.

I am not a charity for commercial interests. Can we please have a bit of perspective on what ‘Human Resources’ means and whether our lives have any meaning apart from exploitation and being robbed to serve the ‘great and the good’ and their god ‘Profit’.

I did think of starting a personal review site, where I ask businesses to leave a review on how I did as a consumer, to which they might respond, “Are you taking the piss?” to which I’d reply, “no, you are.”

What in the world is going on, is this the last gasp of humans, death by meaningless, pointless, futility? Only when the last pointless review has been uploaded, the last lying politician elected and the last person in poverty given the last DWP sanction, will we realise, we’re fucked.

Clearly the new direction launched by the Tories in 2010, is slavery: slaves to the markets. They’ve already stolen our humanity by reducing us to ‘human resources’, which, if you think about it, is a stunning insult that passed into use with barely a murmur. But then, that’s the trick with indoctrination, do it one chip at a time and you won’t even notice the departure of the ragged pieces of your humanity to a trash can in the corner along with the rest of capitalisms detritus, like human rights, weekends off, universal healthcare, and decent pay.

After the coming winter, can we expect Liz Truss to pass a new law making it mandatory to leave the government a review: with advice on how to do it – Keep it upbeat and always look on the bright side of life… as you eat your last meal, a baked bean on a biscuit crumb.

Keith Lindsay-Cameron aka Keith Ordinary Guy. 06 October 2022.

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