Being bonkers in a mad world.

It doesn’t pay to be bonkers, but it helps.

It is a terrible, ravaging, experience watching the light of the world dim and flicker. Watching and experiencing oppression growing from corporate owned politicians who betray ordinary people on a daily basis and treat us as if our level of intelligence matches theirs, measured in shoe size.

Being an anarchist is an enormous position of strength in these dark times, knowing that anarchy is hated and despised by those for whom it represents the greatest threat. A people focused, bottom up, organisation of society is the hope of a future and a better tomorrow. Whatever the world is suffering right now, the current top down system made it so and not one single answer is going to come from the tables of the rich and powerful. They were and are the problem, despising those who made their vast profits from the backs of their labour.

How do they represent anarchy to us, via their corporate media? Lawlessness and chaos. The breakdown of society into a dog eats dog catastrophe. The rule of the mob. Us. Ordinary people who are too stupid to organise our own affairs, which is what we have had to do from time immemorial, while the rich and powerful carved the world up for their exclusive benefit, for an elite club in which we are not welcome and from which we are entirely excluded.

Democracy has always be anathema to the powers that be and as long as people could be persuaded that democracy was the right to vote every few years for an unchanging status quo, then we could be left to our pipe dreams of a better world, because they knew who called the shots and that it would never happen on their watch.

We even have a two tier education system in which we are educated to be small in our own sight, fit for work and service to industry, and they are educated to be grand in their own sight whose purpose is to rule the common herd and the world.

We are even persuaded that we are free and live in the free world where we can think for ourselves, like oil in a pipe line. We can go wherever we like as we’re swept along and our meager ambitions do not stretch beyond our confinement. The occasional breakaways are the exception, not the rule, and become our idols, the rarities who, like the Beatles, become the heroes of popular culture and, yes, do something, spectacular. Yet how few of us dare follow our dreams.

How well I remember breaking out sideways driven by necessity, an intolerable sense of hopelessness and inevitability that I could not bear to live with. Whipped into action by a depression that was life threatening in every breathing moment. I ran for my life, driven by desperation. I left the factory and everything I had been educated and trained for, to adventure holidays in Britain to become an eventual canoe instructor and river leader and later still a Community and Youth Worker. I took to the rivers like a man drowning in air and lost myself in a world dominated by nature.

There was nothing organised in anything I did, I lived chaotically, driven by an inner necessity that was not kind to those closest to me. I lacked the honesty and self awareness that might have helped. Even today, that chaos is always close. I never overcame it, but made a tentative peace with inner chaos, until eventually I realised that I am unlivable with and decided that living alone was the only option. I’ve lost count of the number of times well meaning people have said, “There’s someone out there for you”, little realising that I was living alone to protect others from me. I require a constant distance all around me in order to survive and within that space I’ve made my peace, but I’m still essentially bonkers.

I am a writer because I am bonkers, it’s my greatest strength and source of inspiration. I can look askance at the insane world we live in and write, and a few people find that interesting and inspiring, but I suspect they are bonkers too and that I offer a little light in living a bonkers life in a mad world. I have a gift of expression that may not be widely popular and there will never be a book from these hands, but it’s entirely valid and real and bonkers people plumb greater depths simply because they are fabulously bonkers.

And, frankly, the world could do with a whole lot more of us.

Keith Lindsay-Cameron aka KOG. 24 September 2020.

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